I must say I am really enjoying this clinical experience so far. It seems like it's going so fast, although getting up at 5:00am is not the preferred.
I think the reason I am enjoying this so much is because I get to really make a difference and apply what I've been learning. It's amazing to have someone under your care. I feel blessed to be able to help.
My resident is 84 and she is really sweet. I gave her meds the other day:) We talked about her husband and her family and we were able to connect. At first, I was really sad about the whole situation. It was an eye opener to see that people are winding down and our bodies will all fail us one day. It's just sad to see the residents want to be able to do things on their own, but unable to. There was this one lady who was getting so frustrated that she couldn't get out of her wheel chair and into bed, so she started calling for help. I happened to walk by and tried to help her get comfortable, and she said to me: " nobody cares if we're dead or alive. They're here when we don't need them, but never here when we call". Even though she was probably speaking out of her frustration, I couldn't help but wonder about what she said. It's sad to me that this is her perception of where she is living.
I've realized though, that I can only do my best and I can't make everyone happy there. This is a liberating thought for me.
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3 comments:
Thanks, Alona! KH
I had similar feelings around week 2. I hit this point where I realized that the mentality of 95% of the patients is "well, it's all downhill from here." With the nursing personality, I am finding, that my joy is in improvement. I want to see a problem and fix it for the benefit of helping others.
Yet, in long term care, I can find little satisfaction in providing improvement for the long-term.
Ironic isn't it? The people who are in a setting meant to treat them for the long-term, oftentimes seem to want little to do with that. Even those who are still quite young and capable of improvement and a good solid fifteen years of enjoyment. Instead, there is this desire in the patients simply for the immediate need to be filled.
I'm not going to sit here and try and argue that the desire to fix things is entirely a virtuous quality. In fact I have felt this desire in me, kind of go through the washer machine these past couple of weeks. I'm finding myself praying this prayer...
"God less of me and more of you..."
Why am I there? Not to fix and control and make things better according to my common sense. Not to save people of my own effort. But to love, even if it means in the short term, immediate needs that seem futile. To listen to the voice of God and be led by him even if it doesn't do just what you said, "make eveyone happy." To point to Christ, with the recognition that only HE CAN SAVE.
I like you Alona. Glad we're friends and can walk through this together :)
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